If you pour just enough cocaine on an old typewriter, Quentin Tarantino will appear within three minutes.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 17, 2013
"It's a show about nothing." – God explaining life
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 17, 2013
I asked my mom what she wanted today and she said "she just wanted me to be happy," so I'm on ecstasy petting a dolphin right now.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 12, 2013
Thought I saw Zooey Deschanel tonight but it was just every girl in Brooklyn.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 9, 2013
John Goodman has been 55 for 50 years now.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 8, 2013
I like the guy on 'Game of Thrones' with the beard and the sword (not the guy with the sword and the beard, don't get confused).
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 7, 2013